Tag: advice to parents

Addressing aggressive behaviors in children with Autism: Practical solutions for parents

Children with autism often exhibit behaviors that are misunderstood by others who are not familiar with the disorder.

These behaviors – particularly when aggressive and can cause injury to the child or others – can be challenging for parents and caregivers to manage. These can also lead to stigmatization, isolation, and frustration for both the child and their caregivers.

Fortunately, there are strategies that parents can use to decrease these behaviors and improve the overall wellbeing of their child.

What causes aggressive behaviors among children with autism?

Children with autism may exhibit aggressive behaviors due to a variety of reasons, including communication difficulties, sensory overload, frustration, anxiety, and social challenges.

Many children in the spectrum struggle with communication, which can result in feelings of frustration and isolation. When they are unable to effectively express their needs, wants, and emotions, they may resort to aggressive behaviors, such as hitting, biting, or throwing objects. Additionally, sensory processing issues are common among these kids, which can make them more prone to experiencing sensory overload and becoming overwhelmed by stimuli in their environment. This can lead to aggressive or self-injurious behaviors as a way to cope with the overload.

They may also experience social challenges -such as struggling to understand social cues, make friends or engage in reciprocal communication – which can result in feelings of anxiety and frustration which then contribute to aggressive behaviors.

Furthermore, changes in routine or unexpected events can be distressing for them, and may trigger aggressive behaviors as a way to regain a sense of control or cope with their anxiety.

Strategies for parents to reduce aggressive behavior of children with autism

Understanding the underlying causes of these aggressive behaviors is an important step towards developing effective strategies for managing and reducing them. These strategies include:

  1. Developing a Routine. Children with autism often thrive on routine and structure. By developing a consistent daily routine, parents can help their child feel more secure and less prone to outbursts.
  2. Using Positive Reinforcement. Children with autism often respond well to praise and rewards. By using a token system or other incentives, parents can reinforce positive behaviors and decrease negative behaviors.
  3. Providing Sensory Input. Many children with autism struggle with sensory overload, which can lead to aggressive behaviors. By providing sensory input in a structured way, such as using weighted blankets or noise-cancelling headphones, parents can help their child feel more regulated and less prone to outbursts.
  4. Teach Coping Strategies. Children with autism may need to learn coping strategies to manage their emotions and behaviors. Parents can teach their child breathing exercises, visualization, or other techniques to help them stay calm and focused.
  5. Seek Professional Help. Parents may need professional help to manage their child’s aggressive behaviors. This may include working with a behavior analyst, psychologist, or other professional who specializes in autism.
Additional Resources

It is also important for parents to equip themselves with the tools and strategies needed to effectively support their child with autism such as these books that can provide valuable insights and practical advice for navigating the challenges of parenting a child with autism.

By taking the time to educate themselves on the most effective approaches for supporting their child, parents can feel more confident in their ability to provide the best possible care and support for their child’s unique needs.

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What we need in dealing with a child with special needs

Being a mom of a child with special needs, I sometimes balk at the enormity of the added responsibility. I feel guilty at times for thinking that while parenting is hard enough, it is sometimes made harder by having to contend with the all the extra support, attention and understanding required by a special needs child.

The reality is that, as with all life, there are good times as well as bad; and some days are better or worse than others. I’m grateful that, for the most part, the good times far outweigh the bad.

My son is in the autism spectrum which means that he has difficulties with communication and social interaction. He has overcome a lot of his previous difficulties in managing himself in social situations at home and in school. In fact, far from the stereotype of kids with autism who have difficulty looking people in the eye, he has grown gregarious and friendly, waving and saying hi to strangers in restaurants and malls (which present a new set of problems).

Still, he struggles with schoolwork. For instance, while he is already included in mainstream classes, his reading level is not at the proper level for his age. His difficulties at school prompt those little nagging doubts in my head about his future and how he will need to cope with more and more challenges as he grows older.

These doubts lead me to thinking on what I need to provide to help him deal with what he needs to face, in the present and future.

Fortunately, in a recent seminar held at his school, assistant chief of DepEd’s SPED Unit Dr. Elvira Rocal effectively sums up these points in her talk “3 C’s in Educating Learners with Special Needs in the 21st Century.” You would think that these C’s would involve technology but they are pretty much basic and common-sense.

Learners with Special Education Needs (LSEN) would benefit from:

  • Connection. Being wired differently from their peers and even their own family can feel very isolating. They need to feel like they’re still a part of our group, that they belong. We need to build emotional connections with them to motivate them to learn and to minimize their feelings of isolation. Since my son is a budding foodie, I try to interest him in learning how to prepare simple meals and how he can add his own touch to his food. I am proud to say that he can prepare his own bowl of cereal every morning (a simple task for most but a significant feat for us) and has incorporated his own variations such as using his Milo as a substitute for milk to suit his taste.
  • Collaboration. They say it takes a village to raise a child. It is even more so when it comes to raising a special needs child. You would need to rely on the expertise and help of developmental pediatricians, therapists, teachers and school personnel in assessing and providing for the requirements of special needs kids. At home, I have come to rely on my daughter, #ExhibitA, in helping my son with his homework and projects. My son also has a network of grandparents, uncles and aunts, and family friends who treat him as just another ordinary kid while also on the lookout for opportunities to help him with his special needs.
  • Compassion. I have come to accept that there will be things that my son will always have difficulty with. In many ways, he will never be like other kids his age. However, he has his own point of view and opinions that he wants to express and his own wants and dreams that he wants to achieve. My role as his mom is not to regret what he cannot do, but to encourage and celebrate what he can.

Raising and educating a special needs child is already a huge challenge and responsibility. If you are a parent dealing with this situation, do reach out to professionals who can help you and to your family and community as well.

Click here to see Smart Parenting’s list of developmental pediatricians in Metro Manila.

Click here to know more about the Special Education Unit of the Department of Education (DepEd).

Read this post about my initial struggles with my son’s condition.

For more information on supporting the learning efforts of kids with special needs, check out these books on Amazon.com:


Parents and Families of Students With Special Needs: Collaborating Across the Age Span 


How the Special Needs Brain Learns Third Edition


Steps to Independence: Teaching Everyday Skills to Children with Special Needs, Fourth Edition 4th Edition

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